Our Engagement!

Hello everyone, as you hopefully have heard already by now, Lori and I are engaged!  Here is the tale of the day, and preparation of the day, from my point of view…

I had been thinking about a Christmas engagement for a few months now.  Lori and I were in Scotland over the summer, which would seem to be a perfect opportunity (castles, cliffs, etc.), but the timing just didn’t seem right and I decided that Christmas was the right time.  The first part of the process was to get the right ring, but to somehow do it without Lori knowing anything about it.

The Fellowship of the Ring

I had been looking at some diamonds at Jubilee Jewelers (Bonnie at Rideau helped me out) and was attracted to the Lazare ‘Ideal Cut’.  I liked the idea cut because it is cut in a manner that takes advantage of the physical properties of light to create at ‘retroflector‘.  I am going to geek out here for a bit…  Lazare Kaplan has been cutting diamonds since 1903, and in 1919 Marcel Tolkowsky (Lazare’s cousin) came up with a mathematical formula for the cut of a diamond to maximize the refraction of light using the concept of total internal reflection.  Basically its a ‘cats eye’ which reflects the maximum amount of light back to its source, much like the little glass spheres that they use in the paint of stop signs.  All that to say that 1) an Engineering Physics degree can be useful when diamond shopping and 2) the diamond looks really really pretty.

I was going to shop around a lot more, but then Lori’s friend Naomi told me that Lori had been into a different Jubilee shop and had fallen in love with the exact same cut (in a slightly different setting than I had selected).  I thought that this was a good sign that I should focus on this diamond.

Naomi was kind enough to come help me pick out the final choice, which you can see in the picture below (not to scale):

Lori's Rock

For those into diamond specifications, it is a 0.91 carat Ideal cut SI2 diamond with a ‘G’ clarity rating.  The setting is in platinum.

Jubilee was able to get me the ring before the weekend, which allowed my plan to go off without a hitch.  While I visited the store twice, I managed to bump into people I know BOTH times!  Luckily, they were not people that would bump into Lori on a regular basis.

The Special Day

I had made reservations at 18 Restaurant in the Market as well as the Chateau Laurier for the evening of the 21st of December.  Being a Sunday night, and in a snowstorm (which I didn’t plan), I expected things to be quiet at both places, which was exactly what I was looking for.

At this point, I still had not completely cemented the plan, and the location of the proposal was still up in the air (restaurant, lobby of hotel, hotel room were all possibilities).  I tend to think best under pressure, so my brain helped me out in the end.  I checked into the hotel room so that I could get my bottle of Veuve Clicquot Brut Champagne chilling on the coffee table with a couple of glasses.  This also gave me a chance to check out the room which was a corner suite (RM# 596) with a great north facing view over the river which you can see below:

Ottawa River from Chateau Laurier

I have to thank the staff at the Chateau Laurier for the great choice of room.  Once I told them what the mission of the evening was they upgraded me to a corner suite with that great view!  Their mission statement is “Turning moments into memories.”, and it certainly seems they practice what they preach.

So the rough plan now was: park at the Chateau, have a great dinner, get her to the hotel to set the mood, get to the room for the proposal, all without tipping her off as to what was going on.

This was when the final plan started to gel.  Rule #1 to creating a really believeable -but false- story, is to root it in as much truth as possible.  I chose my friend Matt Gorbet to be the core of the story.  Matt was a good choice because Lori hasn’t actually had the pleasure of meeting him yet, so there was no risk of her getting suspicious about anything I said.  I have talked about Matt enough so that Lori knows that he does many weird and wonderful things, is from Ottawa, and the idea that he would be too busy visiting friends and family during his ‘short visit’ to Ottawa to have made plans with us ahead of time was plausible.

When I got home, I told Lori that I had bumped into Matt in downtown Ottawa during the day, who was visiting the town on business, and we had discussed that Lori and I were going to have dinner in the Market.  He had then offered his parking pass since he had got one with his really swank room, but was using taxis and didn’t need it.  This allowed me to park at the Chateau without getting Lori suspicious.  It also gave me the excuse to come back to the hotel late in the evening to visit Matt.

After a great dinner at 18 Restaurant, it was clear that Lori did not suspect a thing.  So little did she suspect anything, she actually had us go shopping at Chapters for Christmas gifts for my niece Julia.  Finally, after dragging her out of the store, we made our way to the Chateau to inspect he Yousef Karsh photos that grace the room off of the main lobby.

Karsh came up in conversation before because Lori had bought some stamps that featured a picture of Audrey Hepburn which had been snapped by the photographer.  She didn’t know that Yousef had actually resided in the hotel for some time, taking photos of many famous people including Einstein and Winston Churchill, which are both on display in the hotel.

This gave me the opportunity to get her up to the room.  I pretended to answer my iPhone which Lori knows is always on vibrate (so this was not suspicious):  “Hi Matt… oh ok…. about 15 minutes?….  sure we can wait there… do you really think the parking pass will work?… do you have a mini-bar?… are you being comped?  If so we will help you by cleaning out your mini bar <laugh>… ok, see you soon.”

I then told Lori that Matt would meet us soon, but in the interim, we should wait in his room and we were welcome to have a drink while we were waiting.  Lori then proceeded to take me on a tour of the hotel showing me the various rooms where she had fraternity socials, wedding, receptions etc.  She CLEARLY wasn’t catching on…

FINALLY, I got her to follow me up to the room.  I had swapped the parking pass in my wallet for the room key (which look much the same) and tried the door telling Lori that I wasn’t sure that the key would work, but Matt was sure so there was a good chance that it would.

We entered the room, and I thought the champagne on the table might finally tip her off, but apparently she thought it just fit in to such a swanky room.  I pointed to the following element of the room which forms the corner of the corner suite, and looks like a turret from the outside of the building, and asked “What do you think that is for?”:

Turret at Chateau LaurierLori replies: “Reading!”

After palming the ring box from my jacket pocket, I guide her to the corner and sit down with her.  At this point she still hadn’t noticed that I was holding anything.

Adrian: “I have some good news and some bad news, what do you want to hear first?”

Lori: <look of panic on her face> “Uh… bad news?” [People always want the bad news first.]

Adrian: “The bad news is that I am broke, I have no money to buy you any Christmas presents!”

Lori: <confused panicked look continues>

Adrian: “The good news…” <kneels down on one knee, opens ring box presenting the ring> “Will you marry me?”

Lori: <panicked look changes to combined, about-to-cry/excited/happy look> “Yes.”

And now the punch line…

Lori: “Does Matt know about this??”

Adrian: [This ruse worked a little too well…] “Um… Matt is not coming, this isn’t his room, it is ours.”

Lori: “Oh my… and I had you shop at Chapters!!”

Yah… I thought that was pretty funny too.

Here is a picture of the re-enactment of the happy moment (you can tell it is a re-enactment, she isn’t nearly as excited-looking in this photo):

Lori & Adrian Engaged

So anyway, we had a great night!  Thanks to all for your congratulations!!

My parents probably gave the best response: “We are very happy with your choice… and about time!!”

20 Responses

  1. Awww, fantastic! Add this to your list of heartfelt congratulations.

    And that’s quite a ruse you cooked up…next time I need a confidence trickster to loot the vault of a casino, I’ll look you up.

    “Sir, what are you doing down here? This is a high-security area.”

    “I’m just looking for my friend…oh, my phone’s vibrating. Matt? Yeah, this security guard down here is giving me trouble. Put the president on the line.”

    “Why are you carrying champagne?”


  3. that is the best story ever … I love it – who knew you were such a romantic guy??? The ring is beautiful – the room looked beautiful – sounds like a truly memorable night.

    Congrats to you both!!!

  4. So cute!! (Can I have a dramatic renactment when I see you guys next?)


  5. Congrats Adrian.
    I’m not sure when it became de rigueur to start a marriage with massive deception but since that is the modern expectation, you did a fine job!

  6. Hey Adrian!

    What an awesome story. Congratulations, we’re so happy for you guys. And I’m so proud of you for not saying “so how’s about it”. Good job!

  7. Adrian, I know you are f.o.s. at times but this ruse takes the cake. Congratulations to you and Lori. I was hoping for the ‘blow by blow’ aftermath description too but maybe not, got to keep this G rated.

  8. Wow! Great story – I never thought you had it in ya. It’s funny what true love can make a guy do, huh? Keep us posted on a wedding date and location. Congrats again!

    P.S. – Hey Lori… given the amount of blatant deception involved, you might want to raise an eyebrow if he ever says that he’s going on a fishing trip with Matt!

  9. CONGRATS!!! So you did it !!! Wish you guys all the best.
    Adrian, amazing description of the ring! Engineering Physics came into practice quite a bit :-)…..
    Have a great vacation!


    Leave it to you to geek out on the algorithm behind the cut of the diamond. I did nearly the same thing. 😉

  11. Congrats!! Wishing you all the best.

  12. WooHOO! Adrian, I am so thrilled to have been part of this! You know, if you’d needed that phone call at the exact right moment, I’d have been there for ya, then you could have shown her the screen as well – but clearly you pulled it off like an MI-6 guy.

    Congratulations my friend. All the more reason to celebrate next time I finally DO make it to Ottawa.

    Happy holidays to you and your fiancee; can’t wait to meet the lucky woman.

  13. Congratulations to you both. Have passed on the news to mom and dad and they send their congrats too. I didnt realise you were such a romantic, must be your Italian blood. Hope to see you next year. We are over in July.

  14. Congratulations, Adrian! A touching recount of a romantic evening. Thanks for sharing. All the best!

  15. What a romantic story…even the part about Chapters 🙂

    Congatulations and have an awesome Christmas!

  16. This is excellent news!! One less respectable bachelor out there to compete with, thank you for that! No, couldn’t happen to a better guy and I can sense how happy you are through the writings in your blog; huge congrats to you and Lori!!

  17. Wow…congrats Adrian. All the best to you and Lori. And by the way…ditch engineering. You’re much better at writing! 🙂

  18. YAY! Super happy for you both!

  19. Congratulations! All the best to you.

  20. Congrats, Adrian! I should have known the romantic side was deep inside you all this time! Lori is a lucky lady, and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness!

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